So, they say the first step to recovery and overcoming addiction, is first admitting you have a problem. And I am here to admit to the world that I, Miss chocoholic anonymous, have a problem. I am addicted to sugar. I am mentally, emotionally and physically addicted to sugar. To be more precise, I am addicted to chocolate. And I am sick of it.
My addiction to chocolate began when I was about 14 years old. Growing up, I had always enjoyed sugary foods like chocolate, cakes and desserts. But as the 4th of 6 children in a low-income household, there was never much junk food in my home as my family simply could not afford it. My parents would occasionally buy a block of chocolate or a tub of ice cream for the family to share, but other than that, any junk food I wanted had to be purchased with my own money, and I didn’t have a lot.
When I was 14 years old, I moved to another city to live with my Aunty so that I could attend a better school. While living with her, I was given $40 a fortnight as pocket money. I had NEVER had so much money in my life. It was exciting. Not only did I have more money, but now that I was living in a bigger city, everything was cheaper. A chocolate bar that would cost $5 in my hometown only cost $3 in the city. And so, I started buying and eating chocolate all the time because the novelty of big bars of chocolate for so little money was too hard to resist. I would pop down to the supermarket every time I fancied something sweet. At school I would buy chocolate brownies from the tuck shop as often as I could and slowly, from this point on wards, my bad habits grew into an addiction.
I’m now almost 27 and over the years my addiction has been up and down. There was a short phase where I somehow had the will power to completely cut out chocolate for 2 weeks. Then there was the whole term of university where I was eating 2 king sized blocks of chocolate every single day and still craving more. For the past couple of years I have been averaging a king sized blocked every 1-3 days. I won’t go into anymore detail but I have battled with chocolate/sugar addiction for about 9 years now and I NEED to over come it. My inability to say no is controlling my life. It affects me in every aspect of my life. It affects my finances, it affects my weight, it affects my skin (hello severe acne sufferers), it has caused numerous nutritional deficiencies, it affects my mental health, it affects my sense of self-worth, it affects my happiness, it makes me feel trapped and controlled. I could go on…
With all that said, I have created this new little blog as a place for me to document my journey to a healthier, happier more prosperous life. I won’t be focusing solely on sugar addiction or cutting sugar out. This blog will simply be a place for me to focus on all things positive that help me live a better life. I hope that by keeping this blog in mind, I will be motivated, encouraged and inspired to do things that improve my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. I hope that as I focus on making positive changes, that the negative and unhealthy habits I have developed will slowly be pushed out of my life.
Here’s to the happy life!